- 10:22:20: The police detective had few qualms about shooting a perp, or his ex-partner...but the most evil force on Earth? Mr. Mittens, his own cat?
- 10:24:16: And Mittens was, indeed, a bad cat. Not bad in the "you tipped over the milk" way, but genuinely psychotic and evil in a murderous fashion.
- 10:27:09: The only thing really keeping him from a full-fledged crime spree was his lack of opposable thumbs. He couldn't find a way to hold a gun.
- 10:30:54: Although only a cat, Mr. Mittens had nearly human intelligence. He was at least smarter than Frank Fargas, O'Malley's dead former partner .
- 10:34:20: If one cat could take over and rule the world with an iron paw, Mr. Mittens would be that cat. But no cat ever could, that's a silly idea.
- 10:37:37: Cats have relatively short lives, and it takes much time to gather armies and gain power. Mittens was middle-aged, already seven years old.
- 10:39:15: At best, he could hope to spend the rest of his days locked in the apartment, ruining the possessions and life of a lonely police detective.
- 10:41:47: But that was before the shocking events that followed, when everything changed in ways that I can't reveal. Because I haven't made them up.
- 10:47:29: O'Malley continued on his way home. It does seem to like a long trip. Perhaps he stopped at a bar for refreshments. Or picked up a whore.
- 10:49:50: No, bad guess. He picked up the new Playboy magazine and enjoyed the naked breasts therein as he had a cheeseburger. He was on a budget.
- 10:52:40: Both dead Frank Fargas and the dead stripper Maggie Underhill lay on slabs at the morgue, awaiting the magic fingers of weirdo Coroner Ted.
- 10:55:21: Coroner Ted said goodnight to his dead mother in front of the TV. Fez the cat snuggled up atop her gray hair and had a very satisfying nap.
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